Tag Archives: desilusão

Don´t protect me if I didn´t ask

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“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller.”

[Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie]

I´m a tiny woman. I am. I am rather small. Now, let me tell you a story: I have known my last boyfriend (now my ex) for years. The first thing before we got together again was: You just have to remember I will always be your friend first (he wasn´t).

But the thing the bothers me the most is that he kept repeting I was so tiny that he felt he should protect me. He is average hight to tall and large on the sides. Much bigger than me. First, this saying sounded like a compliment. But then I thought: Why does he have to protect me if I didn´t even asked him to? And he is going to protect me from what? It all seemed and felt strange. So, he started to see problems in my life that I did not think it were problems. Because those were solutions. For some reason, I have never have the confidence in him to explain why those were solutions. I just said: This is not a problem.

And I realized this was the protection. He thought he knew what was right for me, and was trying to help me change things in my life that did not need change. From the moment on, everytime he took me under his arms and said he was going to protect me, he was trying to make me smaller than what I´m really am. But what he didn´t realized is that I may be small – at size. But I´m a fucking giant. And I don´t need protection.

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Este episódio é um pouco parecido com o post mais desesperançoso e triste deste blog, e também o mais famoso: Repositório.

” People think they´re crazy but I´m not crazy. I just want to feel it all.” Frase que Hannah atribuiu a Fiona Apple in Girls


Blindfolded by you

 

I´m trying to hold on so willingly and strongly to someone that I shouldn´t have that I have no other way to go but down.

 

It´s a fucking heart breaking downroll spiral that messes with every cell of my brain while I wait for a single reply or just for a hello.

 

Its pure wants. Every part of me wants every bit of you. Hard. Now. Urgent. Violently.

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Quando você me …

Quando você me deixou, meu bem,
Me disse pra ser feliz e passar bem.
Quis morrer de ciúme, quase enlouqueci,
Mas depois, como era de costume, obedeci.
(…)
Quando talvez precisar de mim,
Cê sabe que a casa é sempre sua, venha sim.”

Ainda.

Olhos nos olhos – Chico Buarque


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